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Johnny - June 29

"The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity." (11:3)

Integrity. We've definitely had many conversations or have heard testimonies and reflections and messages about the duplicity of living as a Christian. It's hard to live a constant lifestyle in general, not even just in church and at school. Even the group of friends can create different changes. "Social chameleon". I think the ability to blend into any group is sometimes a good blessing, but have always felt that our church leaders and members have this idea of standing boldly as Christian and asserting our faith over everyone else. I don't really know why but I've always had some resentment to that mindset. While I definitely wouldn't say it's outright wrong, there's something that doesn't sit well with me. I don't know if I can reconcile all these things with my own faith and with who I believe Jesus to be. I don't know if I can say I am one of those people who I see now announce they're Christian but are duplicitous in all regards of life and manner, and who truly don't have love for those that aren't like them. I know it's not my right to judge, but does that lack of confidence in the title mean I have less integrity?

I know what I can do is to mimic the traits of Jesus that I find important and prominent in my life. These things like his love and forgiveness, his grace and constant presence, are things that I can hold on to and try to emulate no matter who I am around. While I may have doubts in an "official title" or affiliation with groups of people, I can really say that I DO believe in Christ and all that he symbolizes. That I do believe that he died and was resurrected and that's the message of belief that I want to hold on to in all facets of my life; no matter where I am or who I am with. I want to do everything, and give everything, in the name of Jesus Christ (and that's going to be unbelievably hard). I pray that I can first recognize Jesus' presence in my life and then seek to live the traits he has shown to me, out in front of those around me.

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